Autor: Tomislav Stanković

Oko generalnog stava i teme knjige “Profinjeno umijeće stava j** mi se” se slažem. Prema životu ne treba biti indiferentan i nije cilj biti ravnodušan prema svemu i svakome. Ono što je važno je znati za što se boriti.

Ako sami uzimamo vlastiti život u svoje ruke i biramo bitke koje ćemo voditi biti ćemo zadovoljni bilo kojim ishodom jer smo ga sami odabrali. Pa ako i izgubimo, jer ne možemo sve dobiti, opet možemo znati da smo dali sve od sebe i “mirno spavati”.

Ipak, prevelika očekivanja od knjige dovela su do razočaranja pročitanim. Prvi dio knjige je solidan, a sve nakon polovice i prema kraju mi je izgledalo kao ponavljanje već rečenog.

Na Goodreadsu sam joj zbog toga dao ocjenu 3/5.

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

“Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance.”

“To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable.”

“To not give a fuck is to stare down life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action.”

“Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.”

“Indifferent people are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices. That’s why they don’t make any meaningful choices.”

“You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others.”

“No matter where you go, there’s a five-hundred-pound load of shit waiting for you. And that’s perfectly fine. The point isn’t to get away from the shit. The point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with.”

“As with being rich, there is no value in suffering when it’s done without purpose.”

“Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is “solving.” If you’re avoiding your problems or feel like you don’t have any problems, then you’re going to make yourself miserable.”

“To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action…”

“True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.”

“Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice—whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose.”

“Our values determine the metrics by which we measure ourselves and everyone else.”

“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”

“Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction. Constant positivity is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life’s problems—problems which, by the way, if you’re choosing the right values and metrics, should be invigorating you and motivating you.”

“When we force ourselves to stay positive at all times, we deny the existence of our life’s problems. And when we deny our problems, we rob ourselves of the chance to solve them and generate happiness. Problems add a sense of meaning and importance to our life.”

“This, in a nutshell, is what “self-improvement” is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life.”

“Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.”

“There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerges. This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances.”

“We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.”

“The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.”

“You are already choosing, in every moment of every day, what to give a fuck about, so change is as simple as choosing to give a fuck about something else. It really is that simple. It’s just not easy.”

“Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from “wrong” to “right.””

“Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened—and even then, it’s still debatable.”

“Some of the most difficult and stressful moments of our lives also end up being the most formative and motivating. Some of the best and most gratifying experiences of our lives are also the most distracting and demotivating.”

“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”

“When we let go of the stories we tell about ourselves, to ourselves, we free ourselves up to actually act (and fail) and grow.”

“The narrower and rarer the identity you choose for yourself, the more everything will seem to threaten you.”

“It’s worth remembering that for any change to happen in your life, you must be wrong about something. If you’re sitting there, miserable day after day, then that means you’re already wrong about something major in your life, and until you’re able to question yourself to find it, nothing will change.”

“Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something.”

“Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments.”

“If we follow the “do something” principle, failure feels unimportant. When the standard of success becomes merely acting—when any result is regarded as progress and important, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prerequisite—we propel ourselves ahead.”